Before my husband ever pulls in the driveway our dog in the backyard knows he’s home.  Before I see or hear him, she knows he’s coming.  As his truck rounds the curve in the road out of view, her ears prick up and she runs to the gate.  She recognizes the sound of his truck from all others that travel our street.

 She runs to the fence line where she can get the best view of his truck as it pulls in.  She wags her tail (what little she has) and waits for him to acknowledge her.  All she wants is for him to speak in a sweet voice to her as he goes in the front door. She is a good dog. I feel safer knowing she is around. She is always on alert; always watching.  She has worn bare spots along the fence line where she walks the perimeter so often.

I have been meditating on a scripture from Matthew today.  It is one of those scriptures we’ve all heard a million times, but sometimes the reason we’ve all heard it a million times is because it is an important one.

Matthew 24:42 (NIV)
"Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come.”

“Keep watch” Jesus says.  I have been waiting; waiting for the Lord’s glorious return.  But watching?  Have I been watching?  Watching for what? Am I supposed to keep my eyes on the sky?  Well, you all know I am being a bit silly, but I wanted to dig into this verse and that is the way my mind works and reasons.

I’m certainly not a student of Greek, but my limited research shows me that the word used here means “to keep awake or to be vigilant”.  I have to admit I might have fallen asleep at my post a few times, maybe even wondered away when I was supposed to be on duty.  Sometimes I have been confused exactly where my post is and how to get there.

My children used to jump with excitement when their Dad came home from work.  They would run out to meet him in the yard or stand at the door beaming with excitement that their Dad was home. They heard his truck pull in or the door shut and they would jump up from what they were doing in order to meet him.  It was almost like they were on alert, listening out of one ear while they were playing.  

As they have grown older these days are fewer and farther between.  They still happen once in a while but certainly not like they used to.  Some days they are so busy with their day or with a friend that they don’t notice for quite some time that he is home.  For children, I suppose, that is a natural part of growing up.

As a Christian, I did not want to be like my children though. As a Christian, not being watchful was not a sign of growing up.  I did not want to be so wrapped up in “my” life that I forgot my duty, my post, and my watch.  I guess they really should be one in the same.

I hate to put it this way, but I want to be like the dog waiting for her Master’s return; ever vigilant, keeping the house safe until he arrives. I know that is not a very glamorous analogy, but it is simple. Sometimes my brain needs simple.  In order to inspire myself to be on the “watch” for Jesus, I found some scripture equip myself with; and of course I will share it with you.

Deuteronomy 4:9 (NIV)
Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.

 Lord, I pray that I will stay alert and at my post in order to train my children in your ways. So that they will follow in your path and bring glory to your name and teach their children to love you.

Psalm 130:6 (NIV)
My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning.

Lord, I pray that you will renew my soul to watch and wait for your guidance and your direction – that I will long for your will in my life and walk daily with you.

Matthew 7:15 (NIV)
Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves.

Lord, I pray that you will keep me alert and watchful for false teachers and false doctrines that will mislead me.  Give me discernment and wisdom to see what is hiding and lurking beneath the outer package.

Mark 14:38 (NIV)
Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."

Lord, please give me your strength because I am too weak to do it on my own.  Help me stay alert and flee from temptation.  I want to be ever watchful for sin that sneaks in my life; weather it be in thought or action.  Give me patience and persistence in prayer. Help me remember to turn to you and fight for you on my knees in prayer.

Micah 7:7 (NIV)
But as for me, I watch in hope for the LORD, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me.

Lord, strengthen my faith in you that I will not grow weary.  I know you are the God who hears his people.  My hope is in you. You are my rock.

Isaiah 52:8 (NIV)
Listen! Your watchmen lift up their voices; together they shout for joy. When the LORD returns to Zion, they will see it with their own eyes.

Lord, I pray that I will keep watch and be at my post when you return in order that I may see you with my own eyes and shout for joy with my own voice as a faithful soldier in your army.

This story has tormented me the past several days and I debated if I should even post this entry.  I did not want to blog about it, but needed to at the same time.  I warn you that it is not my usual upbeat post. I do hesitate to post this and out of respect for the family will not mention names.

Almost 4 years ago, a man in my area turned up missing.  Not just any man, but a preacher’s son, cop’s son in law, a husband, and a father to three beautiful children.  I was not close to the family, but I did know them.  I had been close to some of the extended family earlier in my life.  I went to school and church with his wife when I was a teenager.  She was a few years older than me and her brother was my sister’s age. 

At the time this man went missing he was working a part time job at the same company my husband had also picked up extra hours at, but they worked different shifts.  His family lived near my parents and my daughter would sometimes play with his daughter when we visited.  He seemed like a good Dad and I would see him playing outside with his children sometimes.

I had no idea of this tragic event had occurred, but happened to be at his church visiting my cousin after the morning of his disappearance.  There were prayer requests all around, but no one said anything specific.  His daughter confided in mine on the playground that day after church that something bad had happened to her Daddy because he didn’t come home last night.

Slowly over the next few weeks the story of his disappearance spread throughout the community.  Many suspected only foul play could have kept this devoted family man away.  His story even reached a national TV show that helps get the word out on missing people.  For almost four years now there have been no major leads.

Earlier this month, I received word that the police found his body.  It was discovered in his car submerged at the end of a boat ramp leading to the river.  The police are calling it a suicide. 

I have cried and cried.  My daughter has cried and I have held her.  Even though I was not close to the family this story has haunted me.  I have tossed and turned in the days since they found him. I have shuddered during the day when my mind turns to these events.  I have pictured that long and winding road to the river that I have driven so often.  I remembered the canoe trips that we have taken over that very spot brushing the tops of the old abandon cars, never realizing he was there.

I can’t get this scene out of my head. I can’t grasp this situation.  Were things really so bad? What drives a Christian to this? I just can’t wrap my mind around it.

I have realized this is unhealthy to dwell on this.  I’ve prayed specifically to God that he would help me let this go. I’ve prayed that he would make my sleep peaceful.  I have clung to a verse in Psalms I read right after those first prayers.  When my thoughts start down that winding road I say this verse to myself:

Psalm 94:19 (NIV)

When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.

Please pray for his family and friends as they attend the memorial service for him tomorrow.

Written by my Mom for me

I am the 6^th great granddaughter of a man who fought along with his father and brothers at the battle of King’s Mountain to free us from the British King.  I have 7 direct-line ancestors who fought in the Revolutionary War.

I am the 5^th great granddaughter of a woman who traveled 475 miles alone with 3 small children by ox drawn cart after her husband died 2 days before Christmas in 1825.

I am the 5^th great granddaughter of a man who fought with Andrew Jackson at the Battle of New Orleans in 1814.

I am the 4^th great granddaughter of a man who had one of his fingers shot off, and then later gave his life fighting for the South’s losing cause.

I am the 3^rd great granddaughter of a woman whose husband fought for the Northern forces during the Civil War and died leaving her 8months pregnant.

I am the 3^rd great granddaughter of a man who climbed the scaffold and begged 2 men who were to be hanged to confess to murdering his stepsons.

I am the 3^rd great granddaughter of a woman who walked from her home in North Carolina during the War Between the States searching for her husband who was wounded and had lost his leg until she found him, nursed him back to health and then together they walked back home 147 miles.

I am the great great granddaughter of a man who agriculture experiments brought him national fame.

I am the granddaughter of a man who raised 6 children as his own, working to provide for them while attending law school.

I am the granddaughter of a man who shot the highest score of his rifle competition wining the jackpot just so he could buy presents for my grandmother.

I am the daughter of a man who kept going back to school until he earned his Master’s Degree in Religion at the age of 54 to become a Pastor.

I am the daughter of a woman who truly enjoyed being a stay at home mother.

I am the wife of a man who believes in me and supports my life’s goals.

I am the mother of three wonderful children.

 I am Theresa C. Richardson

A few years ago my Secret Pal gave me a devotional book by Max Lucado.  Even though it was mid year, I started reading the January 1^st devotional.  I read several pages a day, instead of the standard one a day, until I was caught up to the appropriate date. (What’s that say about my personality?) I had heard about Max Lucado, but I had never read anything written by him. 

I noticed at the bottom of each page a notation was made as to which book by Max the inspirational thought had come from.  I decided to start marking the pages that spoke to me or helped me.  I simply put a heart at the top corner of the page.  I figured I would see a pattern of the excerpt having come from the same book.  I figured whichever book had the most marks would be worth buying or reading. 

To my surprise, I did not see one prominent book, but I did see a prominent theme.  LOVE – my love for others and God’s love for me. WHOA!  I knew I could be an abrasive person.  “You have to be tough to survive, right? But I’m nice to people, aren’t I?”  I decided to examine myself further.  I’m not talking about doing something nice here and there.  I’m talking about living a life of love.  Letting God’s love, fill me up, ooze out and overflow.  

Mark 12:28-31 (NIV)

One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?"

 "The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself. 'There is no commandment greater than these."

The New Testament echoes this same point throughout.  Some of these verses are so familiar to us that I don’t think we give them a second thought.  For example, I Corinthians 13 – The love chapter or Galatians 5:22-33 – The fruits of the spirit, Love is the first one.  I think I John contains some of the strongest language.

1 John 4:19-21 (NIV)

We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.

There is a song I like that has the line in it that says, “And they will know we are Christians by our love…”  Can people look at me and tell I’m a Christian; not by what I’m wearing, but by my actions?  Do I show love?  I challenge you to look around at the people in your lives.  Can you tell they are Christians by their love? Can they tell you are a Christian by your love?

Do you ever meet someone out and about and you ask them how they are and they reply, “I’m blessed!”  You can tell by their attitude that they really are.  They love God and it oozes out in the short time you are with them. I know I am not like this, but I want to be. I want love to flow out of me.

John 15:12 (NIV)

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.

I believe the keywords in the above verse are, “as I have loved you”.  I grew up in a very conservative church. It was a good church, but often God’s love came across as conditional. The messages were that God only loves and accepts those who act a certain way or dressed a certain way.  So much discussion was focused on the outward appearance, laws, and rules with not enough focus on the heart.  This environment bruised me. 

Please don’t get me wrong.  I firmly believe that God instructs Christians to conduct themselves a certain way.  But I also believe that the closer a person gets to God that the Holy Spirit will convict that individual of the sin in their lives.  We should encourage each other to draw close to God.  (But that is a whole different post).

In order to truly love others as Jesus commanded we must first fully accept his love for us “as I have loved you”.  Because of my past church experience, it took me awhile to understand the fullness of God’s love for me and that's why I had a problem loving others. Have you comprehended God’s marvelous love for you? Do you know the fullness of God?

Ephesians 3:14-19 (NIV)

 For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.  

Max Lucado says in Grace for the Moment – Volume II:

Apart from God… A marriage- saving love is not in us. A friendship-preserving devotion cannot be found in our hearts. We need help from an outside source.  A transfusion.  Would we love as God loves? Then we start be receiving God’s love. 

We preachers have been guilty of skipping the first step. “Love each other!” we tell our churches. “Be patient, kind, forgiving,” we urge.  But instructing people to love without telling them they are loved is like telling them to write a check without making a deposit in their accounts.  No wonder so many relationships are overdrawn.  Hearts have insufficient love. 

The secret to loving is living loved.

I really missed my children this past week.  The boys were both gone to a local camp together and Sissy spent the week at “Camp Grandma”.  I really enjoyed the alone time while my husband was at work and the uninterrupted time with him at home.  I got caught up on the laundry and some other chores. I spent time relaxing and time with other family and friends; but when all was said and done, I was eager for their return.

It was a great reunion with much excitement and chattering.  There were a few tears (only on my part) and massive amounts of clothes hauled to the laundry room.  A few hours latter we picked up Sissy and visited with a cousin in town from Texas.  Of course, a whole new round of stories had to be told.  I was delighted to have all three children in front of my eyes again! For me, it was a beautiful sight.

Breakfast is my favorite meal of the day! This morning, I was eager to fix the children what they wanted since it was their first meal home in a week.  I got requests for biscuits, sausage, gravy and two different kinds of eggs.  I complied and threw in some fresh strawberries and grapes which are always a favorite.  It was indeed a feast this morning!

The kid’s were truly surprised that I had fixed what they each had asked for.  (They are so used to taking turns and compromising).  It was my pleasure to dote on my children this morning and I just sat back for a moment and watched them dig in.  They devoured the home cooking like you expect them to after a week away.  Everyone was so happy to be eating together and catching up.

I had a fleeting thought of the great feast all Christians will one day have in heaven.  How much more joyful and wondrous it will be than my simple family breakfast! A table spread much more lavishly and the reunion so much greater. 

I’m almost certain; Jesus will sit back for a moment and watch us dig in…

Matthew 8:11(NIV)
I say to you that many will come from the east and the west, and will take their places at the feast with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven.

Revelation 19:9 (NIV)

Then the angel said to me, "Write: 'Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!' " And he added, "These are the true words of God."

I think one of Satan’s most used weapons is discouragement.  Maybe he uses something different on you, but discouragement is the one he throws at me the most. He is very calculated and devious, make no mistake about it.

1 Peter 5:8 (NIV)
Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

 It took me more than my normal blogging time to post yesterday’s blog.  In fact, it started out as an “old fashion” pen and paper journal entry.  When I am reading the Bible, I write notes in a journal and some of those thoughts later turn into blogs.  It took me a few days of searching off and on in the Psalms to compile my list of praises.  I then had to transfer it to my computer. 

Shortly after my first night of searching and making my list; someone tried to steal my van. They were unsuccessful in taking it, but rendered the van not drivable in the process.  Imagine my shock the next morning as I loaded the kids up to take them to the zoo only to find my van severely messed up.

Yesterday as I sat down to type my post, I seemed to get more than my normal amount of interruptions.  I received one phone call from my husband that really discouraged me.  He was out on the job site cutting grass and he called to let me know that someone had stolen all the gas from his mowers.  The loss was not a huge financial one, but it was a nuisance for him during his work day.

I was upset. I was troubled that we seemed to be the target of what appeared to be some random criminal activity.  In fact, I almost gave up on my post about praise.  I pushed my notes aside.  Then I thought about Job. I thought, “Giving up is exactly what Satan wants me to do.”  He does not want me to praise God; much less post a blog entry for others to read on ways to praise God.  Determined to fight the devil and his weapon of discouragement I started reading each praise out loud as I typed.  It felt good and my spirit was lifted!

Then to my surprise last night I got a friend invite from someone on spaces I did not know.  They had found my post on praising God. I checked out their space and it was a wonderful Christian site with uplifting music.  Since accepting that invite many more invites have poured in; most of them from Christians. I am so excited! I am now connected to Christians all across the world that have encouraging spaces to visit. 

Satan threw his weapon of discouragement at me, but I held up my shield of faith and have had the most encouraging past 24 hours since starting my blog.

Deuteronomy 31:8 (NIV)
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

Joshua 1:9 (NIV)
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.

A few years ago one of the teachers at school sent home a brightly colored piece of paper entitled 101 Ways To Praise A Child.  Having seen the list before on my Sister-in–law’s refrigerator I was delighted to have my own copy.  The paper gives suggestions for praising your child; some are phrases you can say and others are ideas like a hug or a kiss.  The list goes something like this:

·         Way to go

·         I’m proud of you

·         You make me happy

·         A hug

·         You work really hard

·         I love you

·         Terrific

·         You’re a joy

·         Super job

·         A kiss

·         Exceptional performance

·         Awesome

·         What a good listener

I think one of my weaknesses in parenting is not giving enough praise and positive encouragement to my children.  I keep the list on my refrigerator as a reminder to me to praise them.  They actually laugh at me when I use one of the “cheesy” phrases like, “You’re A-OK-My Buddy”, but they know I am trying my best to praise them and it makes them happy.

This verse caught my attention:  Psalm 119:164 (NIV) Seven times a day I praise you for your righteous laws.  That verse made me ask myself how many times a day I praised God. I often count my blessings and say thank you to God for all he has done, but I believe that thankfulness is just one of the many ways to praise God.

 If there are 101 ways to praise a child then there has to be 101 ways to praise God. Now I was on a mission for a second list to hang on my refrigerator.  I searched the Psalms to compile my list which I want to share with you.  Some are phrases you can say and some are actions you can do, but all are taken directly from the Scripture in order to praise God. All quotes are taken from the Revised Standard Version. Now that the list is compiled, all I have to do is move that big stack of filing to be done. It is blocking my printer! J

1.      Blessed be the Lord forever (Ps.89:52)

2.     The Lord on high is mighty (Ps. 93:4)

3.     Great is the Lord and greatly to be praised (Ps. 96:4)

4.     The Lord is gracious and merciful (Ps. 111:4) 

5.     Sing praises (Ps.91:2)

6.     Serve the Lord with gladness (Ps 100:2)

7.     Thou, O Lord, art enthroned forever (Ps. 102:12)

8.     The heavens are the work of thy hands (Ps. 102:25)

9.     Tell of His salvation from day to day (Ps. 96:2)

10.   Thy name endures to all generations (Ps. 102:12)

11.    Rejoice in the Lord (Ps 97:12)

12.   I love the Lord (Ps. 116:1)

13.   Thou art the same, and thy years have no end (Ps. 102:27)

14.   Give thanks to His holy name (Ps. 97:12)

15.   Walk with integrity of heart (Ps. 101: 2)

16.   Gracious is the Lord, and righteous (Ps. 116:5)

17.   The Lord is a great God and a great King (Ps. 95:3)

18.   Bring an offering and come into His courts (Ps. 96:8)

19.   Mighty King, lover of justice (Ps. 99:4)

20.   All thy commandments are true (Ps. 119:151)

21.   Keep His testimonies and statues (Ps. 99:7)

22.   He satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things (Ps. 107:9)

23.   Make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation (Ps. 95:1)

24.   Holy is He (Ps. 99:3)

25.   Thy word is a lamp to my feet (Ps.119:105)

26.   God is merciful (Ps. 116:5)

27.   He brought me out of darkness and He broke my bonds (Ps. 107:14)

28.   Ascribe to the Lord glory and strength (Ps. 96:7)

29.   With my mouth I will give great thanks to the Lord (Ps.109:30)

30.   Thou art fearful and wonderful (Ps. 139:14)

31.   Let us kneel before the Lord, our maker (Ps. 95:6)

32.   All things are thy servants (Ps. 119:91)

33.   The right hand of the Lord does valiantly (Ps. 118:15)

34.   Thou hast covered my head in the day of battle (Ps. 140:7)

35.   Call on the Lord (Ps. 99:6)

36.   With God we shall do valiantly; it is He who will tread down our foes (Ps. 108:13)

37.   Declare His glory and His marvelous works (Ps. 96:3)

38.   Amen and Amen (Ps.89:52)

39.   Thy word is firmly fixed in the heavens (Ps. 119:89)

40.   Sing to the Lord a new song (Ps. 96:1)

41.   My refuge and my fortress, My God in whom I trust (Ps.91:2)

42.   Give thanks (Ps.91:2)

43.   Thy judgments are right (Ps. 119:75)

44.   Let the redeemed of the Lord say so (Ps. 107:2)

45.   I bow down (Ps. 138:2)

46.   The Lord is good (Ps. 107:1)

47.   The Lord is my strength, song, and salvation (Ps. 118:14)

48.   Thy faithfulness reaches to the clouds (Ps. 108:4)

49.   Praise the Lord (Ps. 104:35)

50.   His righteousness endures forever (Ps. 111:3)

51.   O Lord my God, thou art very great (Ps. 104:1)

52.   He will judge the peoples with equity (Ps.96:10)

53.   Come into his presence with singing (Ps. 100:2)

54.   The Lord is great (Ps. 135:5)

55.   I will praise thee with an upright heart (Ps.119:7)

56.   Full of honor and majesty are His works (Ps.111:3)

57.   How precious to me are thy thoughts, O God (Ps. 139:17)

58.   Thou art clothed with honor and majesty (Ps. 104:1)

59.   Lift up your hands to the holy place, and bless the Lord (Ps. 134:2)

60.   My heart stands in awe of thy works (Ps.119:161)

61.   I will praise the Lord in the midst of a throng (Ps.109:30)

62.   I am thine (Ps. 119:94)

63.   The Lord is merciful and gracious (Ps. 103:8)

64.   O Lord,  my Lord, my strong deliver (Ps. 104:7)

65.   The Lord will keep me from all evil (Ps. 121:7)

66.   This is the day that the Lord hath made (Ps. 118:24)

67.   Wonderful are thy works (Ps. 139:17)

68.   All His precepts are trustworthy (Ps. 111:7)

69.   The Lord hath done great things for us, we are glad (Ps. 126:3)

70.   I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart (Ps. 111:1)

71.   How great are thy works, O Lord (Ps. 92:5)

72.   Oh, how I love thy law (Ps.119:97)

73.   Thou art my God (Ps. 118:28)

74.   Worship the Lord in holy array; tremble before Him (Ps. 96:9)

75.   Come let us worship and bow down (Ps 95:6)

76.   Thy hands have made and fashioned me (Ps. 119:77)

77.   Holy and terrible is His name (Ps. 111:9)

78.   He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous Mother of children (Ps. 113:9)

79.   Sing to the Lord, bless his name (Ps. 96:2)

80.   Be exalted,  O God, above the heavens (Ps. 108:5)

81.   Thy commandments are my delight (Ps. 119:143)

82.   Great is the glory of the Lord (Ps. 138:5)

83.   Consider the steadfast love of the Lord (Ps. 107:43)

84.   My lips will pour forth praise (Ps. 119:71)

85.   At midnight I rise to praise thee (Ps, 119:62)

86.   The Lord reigns; He is robed in majesty (Ps. 93:1)

87.   He sent redemption to His people (Ps. 111:9)

88.   I hope in thy word (Ps. 119:114)

89.   I thank thee that thou hast answered me (Ps.118:21)

90.   Harden not your hearts (Ps. 95:8)

91.   Declare His steadfast love and faithfulness (Ps.92:2)

92.   O Lord, how marvelous are thy works (Ps. 104:24)

93.   Hearken to His voice (Ps. 95:8)

94.   I rejoice at thy word (Ps. 119:62)

95.   The Lord is God and he hath given us light (Ps. 118:27)

96.   May the glory of the Lord endure forever (Ps. 104:31)

97.   Enter His gates w/thanksgiving and His courts w/praise (Ps. 100:4)

98.   To thy name give glory (Ps. 115:1)

99.   Break forth into joyous song and sing praises (Ps. 98:4)

100. Thou art my hiding place and my shield (Ps. 119:114)

When I was asked to speak at the ladies luncheon at my church last October for the second year in a row, I became worried that I could not live up to people’s expectations.  Thoughts went through my mind like, "How can I top last year?"  Thoughts like, " A year has passed and some of these ladies really know the "real" you.  They are not going to listen to what you have to say.  They've seen your flaws, your mistakes." 

I tried to prepare weeks in advance, but I did not feel God laying anything on my heart.  I thought maybe if I just sat down and started writing and reading something would come.  An hour later my page was still blank. I had 4 books opened, 2 different versions of the Bible, notes, journals, and even 1 dictionary.  I finally closed them all and laughed at myself.  I realized it is not about me.  It is not about how I've messed up.  It is not about my talent or lack of.  It is not about my presentation.  My focus was wrong!  WHEN YOUR FOCUS ON YOURSELF, YOU CAN NOT FOCUS ON OTHERS.  No wonder I didn't have anything to say, I was focusing on myself.  I was focusing on what people might think about me. 

Galatians 1:10 says, "Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God?  Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ."

Colossians 3:23-24 says, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men… It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”

Many of you have heard in great detail how God answered my prayers over a 3 year time period to be a stay at home Mom. But it was a process of more than just finances during the past 3 years.  It was also a process of changing my heart and my focus. 

The process started OVER 3 years ago when the company I was working for laid me off due to a branch closure.  I was devastated.  I loved my job, my co-workers, my boss, my company, but most of all I felt like I had let my family down.  Even though I was out of church and far from God at the time, the Holy Spirit started to work on me and to work on my focus.  I had been so wrapped up in my work and networking that my family got put on the back burner.  I am ashamed to say that I was not a very good wife or mother back then.  It was an ugly time period in my life for many reasons.  Even though I had been raised in a Christian family I rebelled and even into my mid 20's I was still pushing God away.  Getting laid off was a wake up call to me.

Despite how far away from God I was at the time and how wrong my focus was.  I was still in His grip and found another job within two weeks paying the same money and closer to home.  The Holy Spirit began working on my heart and slowly I began reading my Bible again.  I even began to look for a church home.  The search was irregular and so was the Bible reading, but healing between me and God had begun. 

Within 6 months of starting my new job and my new relationship with God, My husband and I both felt God leading me home.  We both agreed that was the best thing for our family and we both felt strongly that it was God's will for us.  But when we looked at the finances we did not see how it was possible.  For several months we shook our heads and said we wanted to do it, but we just couldn't.  We needed my salary. 

In the meantime my job became repugnant to me.  I did not want to be there. I wanted to be home taking care of my children.  My job became more stressful and the hours longer.  Normal became working more than 50 hours a week.  I would cry.  I wanted to be with my family.  God had changed my focus from my work to my family, but here I was working more hours than I ever had. 

A year after starting this new job, my husband and I stopped shaking our heads no and made a financial plan.  Things looked bleak.  If I wanted to come home it might take awhile until we were financially ready and even then a lot would depend on how much my hubby would be able to grow his lawn business.  I prayed and cried out to the Lord.  I got a raise at work that was more than just the cost of living, it would really help out.  Less than a month later, I got another substantial raise.  Praise the Lord.  There was no denying that blessing was from God. 

We knew with the Lord's help we would get me home.  Still, even with financial blessings, I cried and cried.  I hated my job and I longed to be at home.  The hours were awful and the stress was crazy.  I prayed to God for some relief.  I could not handle the stress.  How could I be a good testimony at work when I was stressed out all the time?  "Please God," I prayed, "Something has got to give."  Less than a month later, even though our numbers were the best ever, my boss came to me and let me know that they were closing the TN branch.  All operations were being moved to the office in another state.  They thought they could keep all the business while reducing overhead. 

God had answered my prayers for less stress and less hours by closing down the local office.  I'll not bore you with all the details, but God provided all along the way in even the smallest of things.  Both my faith and my husband’s began to grow.  Spring came and with the office shut down, my job was supposed to be over, but the company had created a job for me here in Nashville.  Once again God's hand was in this, there was no denying it. 

A friend’s son turned over enough yards to my husband that I was able to at least start working part time.  Somehow even through this past summer's draught God had provided for us.  God had been amazing and finally we stepped out on faith.  God provided a full time job for my husband and even though things would be tight in the winter, I turned in my 2 week notice!!  We weren't sure exactly how we would make it through the winter, but my husband always picks up odd jobs and winter work.  God had led us on such an incredible journey.

Shortly after I quit work we signed a contract that would provide for the family throughout the winter months.  God answered my prayers and brought me home, but first he had to change my focus.  Slowly my heart became willing to serve God.  My view of my husband, children, home and life in general needed to change before God would give me my hearts desire.  Brother Andrew wrote in his book, The Calling, "We must never make our dreams for success or accomplishment as God's purpose for us; His purpose may well be just the opposite.  God's end, his purpose IS the process.  It is today that he wants us to focus on."

I could say that God’s purpose was to bring me home, but his purpose was in the process which changed my heart and focus.  I was focused on the big picture, "God bring me home.  God, I just want out of this high-stress work place."  I needed to focus on Him and serving Him.  Tell me, why would God give me this free time if I would not honor him with it? 

Once during this process, when I had some vacation time from work.  I neglected my quite time with God.  I had a wonderful time off and enjoyed quality time with my husband and children.  But God convicted my heart.  I had spent very little of my free time alone with him.  Having quality time with my family was very honorable and there was nothing wrong with that.  After all, wasn't that what I had been asking God for?  But God's purpose was in the process.  How could I be a servant for Him, when I was focused on my wants and desires?  We must never let anything interfere with our quite time with God and worship with God. 

Let me give you an example from scripture.  The familiar story of Mary and Martha found in Luke 10:38-41. 

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"

"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

Imagine how Martha felt! Here was Jesus in her house.  Talk about important company! Talk about pressure.  Here was Martha rushing around trying to make things perfect.  I can sympathize with Martha.  I think many of us can.  After all how rude was Mary to be letting her sister do all the work with such an important guest in the house. 

I have acted like Martha, we probably all have.  We get so focused on what needs to be done that sometimes we forget the bigger purpose.  We focus on our wants and desires that we forget about others.  Romans 12:10 says, "Be devoted to one another in brotherly love.  Honor one another above yourselves."

Martha was so focused on the task at hand that she forgot about the needs of Mary.  Mary was focused on Jesus.   At first Martha appeared to have a true servant’s heart.  What she was doing was honorable, but her frustration over her sister's lack of helpfulness grew and grew to the point that she couldn't contain herself.  She pointed it out, tattle tailed, if you will; to of all people, her honored guest - to Jesus.  John Macarthur says in his book, 12 Extraordinary women, "Martha's behavior shows how subtly and sinfully human pride can corrupt even the best of actions.  What Martha was doing was by no means a bad thing.  She was waiting on Christ and her other guests… She was acting as servant to all… But the moment she stopped listening to Christ and made something other than him the focus of her heart and attention, her perspective became very self - centered. "

You see, Martha was doing nothing wrong by being a servant, but her heart was in the wrong place.  Her focus was wrong.  All that aside, what Mary was doing was better.  Jesus said so.  Mary had discovered what was needed - true worship and devotion of your heart to Christ.  Worship is a higher priority than even service.  Nothing is more important than listening to and honoring Christ.  Taking care of my husband and children is one of my highest priorities, but even higher should be my relationship with God. 

I think this was one of my many focuses that needed to change before God brought me home.  God used the process of getting me home for his purpose.  God is constantly working on me.  I can be a lot like Martha in the sense that I can begin doing something with the best of intentions and quickly my bad thoughts will make it go sour.  We have to work at keeping our focus on God.  The best way to stay in focus is through worship and quite time. 

I was laying in bed thinking about this devotional when some strong storms started moving in.  It was close to midnight and we had the windows open listening to the wind blow.  The wind picked up and I heard a tree creaking in the wind.  One of the large trees across the creek was about to break.  "Oh Lord, " I prayed, not the big one."  There is a large tree behind our house that worries my husband a lot.  If and when it does go it is so large that it will fall across the storage shed, the house, and even the vehicles.  There was more creaking and cracking… "please Lord, not that tree.  Someone broke the window on the van Saturday, isn't that enough for one week?  Please Lord, we don't have time to deal with that big tree right now. "  The wind picked up and we heard a tremendous noise! My husband jumped up in time to see one big tree across the creek go down, but not the one I was so worried about.

He put on his shoes and I fussed at him not to go out.  We went to the living room to turn on the TV.  After hiding in my Mother - in - laws basement during the 1998 tornado, we are still a little jumpy when big storms come through. So I was watching the storm tracking and my husband was peering out the back door with a flash light at the trees.  The weather man was reading off reports of power outages and numerous fallen trees.  He said with this draught we've had that trees are weak and that is why there were so many reports of fallen trees.

 Without rain trees are weak and when the storms come they are not strong enough to face the wind.  I want to encourage you if you don't set aside quite time to read your Bible and pray EVERY day - start now.  Without constant water from God's living word you will not be able to stand when the storms come.  You will be weak and your focus will be on the wrong thing.  When the storms come, you will fall - I know, I've been there. 

I have changed. That was God's purpose in bringing me home. It was in the process.  I am not the same person I was 5 years ago, but I still need your help and encouragement to keep my focus. 

Titus 2:3-5 says,

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

Only a woman that has learned, will later be able to teach.  If older women who have qualities I am lacking don't teach me now, I will not be able to teach younger girls later.  I want to encourage older women to get involved so that this natural mentoring and admonishing can easily take place.  In a sense everyone is both older and younger; there is always someone older than you to learn from and younger than you to teach. Teach about Christian marriage, Christian mothering.  Teach to be self controlled and kind.  Grab a woman's arm and talk to her or show her by your example, but teach.  God commands you to.

Next time you think that you are too tired or too busy to get involved in some project or you think it is not your turn.  Stop.  Stop thinking about yourself.  How can you serve God, if you are focused on yourself?  Think about us younger women who need your example, your wisdom.  We need to learn from you.  If you can't get out, send a card or note.  Call us and just be a voice of wisdom on the phone or prayer partner. I wonder if things would have gone different for Martha if her mother was there whispering the voice of wisdom and reason in her ear.

Younger women, if God specifically commands older women to teach us; then he certainly expects us to listen.  I Timothy 5 says to treat older women as our mother with purity and to honor widows.  This isn't just me talking.  God's word says these older women are to get our respect and honor.  God's word says they have something to teach us.  I believe we should approach each situation with that attitude.  Say to yourself,  "What can I learn from this woman?"   We don't have to have some big mentoring program in place.  We just need approach and view everything as a teachable and learnable moment.  I Corinthians 1: 12 asks an important question, "Is Christ divided?"

Remember the story of Martha and Mary. Start with worship and your quite time with God - keep Him your focus and you will better be able to serve him. I want to end with an encouraging verse.

Philippians 2:3-4

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.