I don’t think Bubba even realizes it and I would certainly never point it out, but sometimes he calls my Hubby “Da Da”.  Hubby loves it and the way Bubba says it, it does not sound babyish.  I can’t explain it, but it is very endearing.  In fact, I started paying attention to how all our kids address us and really each one and each way is special.  Sometimes Sissy calls me very formally, “Mother”, but it fits her personality to a tee.  Paddy is so carefree in his “Mama” and “Daddy”.  Somehow, no matter what they choose to say – it fits!

I grew up with a poster full of the names of Jesus as part of the everyday decor of our home and have always been mesmerized with the different names and titles for God in the Scripture.  I try to wrap my mind around the reply from the burning bush, "I am who I am” (Exodus 3:14) and I always try to pay attention to the way the words Lord and God appear in the English translation, because I know there is a difference in the Hebrew that I don’t want to go into right now. 

As much as I have seemed to pay attention to all the variations of God’s name in the Bible, I recently balked when my Pastor suggested that all the names for God were not listed in the Bible.  What? How could that be? Why would God not include something in the Bible that I need to know about Him? My Pastor went on to explain in more detail what he meant.  To one person He may be the God who cured them from cancer.  To another He may be the God who helped them through a financially tight time.  To yet another the God who rescued them from a bad situation in life.  He challenged us to have a personal and current relationship with God – not just the God who saved you when you were 12 years old, but the God who is current in your life today. 

I thought about Moses and how God introduced himself as "… the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob" (Exodus 3:6), but I’m certain by the end of Moses’ life he had many more personal, and personally meaningful ways of addressing God.  God never changes and He will always be ”the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob” but he is also the God who spoke to Moses from a burning bush, the God of the plagues, the God who parted the red sea, etc. etc.  Imagine all the names for God Moses must have had.

I have a friend who refers to Jesus always as “Abba” (Galatians 4:6) and another who uses the Hebraic word “Yeshua”.  As a parent, I love to hear my children call my name.  It doesn't matter if they say, Mother, Mama, or Mom as long as it is said in a loving, respectful way.  Many times they don’t even have to say my name, but if I know I have their full attention or we are engaged in a conversation where they are eager to talk to me – I am content.

I have been pondering these things off and on lately. He is the God who brought me home from work to be a full time wife and Mother – my dream come true.  He is the God who blessed our family with a bigger house and yard.  He is the God who provides.  He is the God who gives strength, energy and health to my husband. The God who sends rain so my Hubby’s business thrives.  He is the God who sustains me. The God who keeps my family safe. On and on I could go with the way He is God currently in my life.

While pondering this possibility of claiming and calling God more personally and currently in my life, I stumbled across one of His names in Scripture I never noticed before. I was reading the story of Hagar fleeing from Sarai in Genesis 16.  Sarai had been mistreating Hagar so she took off.  But God found her even as she was running away and spoke reassuringly to her.  Because of their conversation, Hagar named God in verse 13, “She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: "You are the God who sees me," for she said, "I have now seen the One who sees me." 

I really, really like that… the One who sees me. 

I was cleaning the house just now and wishing that I had updated my blog more in June.  I was thinking how I missed visiting and commenting on other blogs. I was out of the habit of posting and writing and really just needed something simple and not too deep to post in order to get me back in the routine again.  As I was cleaning, I was composing a blog in my head that I wanted to post when Paddy interrupted my thoughts. 

“Oh Mom!”, he said, “I just LOVE the smell of Pine-Sol.” 

I smiled knowing that was the cleaner that we have used most often since his birth and how I can remember the smell even from my childhood. 

I replied, “Yes, it has such a clean fresh smell, doesn't it ?” 

Paddy made me laugh with his answer, “No, Mom it is not the Pine that smells so good, but the Sol.”

I feel the pressure to post a new blog.  I have not spent a lot of time online lately and I don’t think I have read any blogs in almost 2 weeks.  I’ve spent a lot of time reading regular old books from the public library.  I really like biographies.  I guess that explains why I am drawn to reading blogs –  it is a lot like reading a autobiography in the making.  This time of year I really enjoy taking my book outside to read.

Much of my time last week was tied up with my church’s Vacation Bible School.  We had almost 50 kids everyday which is awesome for my little church! In the past we have had attendance in the high 20’s and low 30’s.  It was a wonderful blessing! I co-taught the 3rd and 4th grade class. Bubba was in my class and many of his friends from school came.  It is so much more fun for the kids when their friends are there too.  It seemed like all the kids were well behaved and got along well together. 

I confirmed what I already thought I knew – that I enjoy teaching a older group better than my normal preschool Sunday School group.  The younger kids are so smart with such good memories, but I love seeing the older kid’s eyes light up when they finally grasp a Bible truth.  You can just see something working in their brain when they connect events, people or spiritual truths together.  I did miss my  4 year olds though and always slipped into their class to hang out with them for a little bit while my class completed their craft with the craft teachers.

By Friday I was worn smack dab out.  My kids were always going home with someone else or having their friends over to our house before and after VBS so their was never a dull moment in my schedule.  Thursday and Friday I woke up at 5:30 am to help get my Hubby up and going for the things he had planned for the day.  Neither one of us are morning people so 5:30 am was hard for us. 

After he left Friday morning I sat on the couch reviewing and planning my VBS lesson for the day.  I was so tired I didn’t know how I could manage another day VBS and the other activates planned later that day as well.  I just wanted to crawl back in bed.  I knew it was the last day, but I just couldn’t seem to “sike myself up”.  Then I ran across the part of the lesson where I was supposed to tell the children the VBS Bible verse for the day. 

Philippians 4:13(KJV)

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Oh how I needed that! Yes! That was it.  I could not “sike myself up” – I could not find the strength myself.  I needed Christ.  I needed His strength.  I had reached the end of mine and needed to draw on His.  I wish I had remembered this verse earlier in the week.  I wish I had remembered to lean on Him all week long.  I can’t believe after all these lessons learned how I still charge ahead without Him sometimes.  What made me think I could possibly make it though that kind of hectic week on my own? 

So Friday morning I sat on my couch and drew from His strength for awhile.  Later that morning as I went over the verse with my class my eyes watered and I got a little choked up telling them how that verse had helped me just that morning.  They laughed at me when I explained that I would have been a grumpy teacher that day if it wasn’t for Jesus, but they understood.  They got it! I was able to personally relay that verse in a fresh way that included them and they understood!

I hope it sticks with them and they learn early in life to lean on Jesus – always, every single day.

Untitled (because I can)

By: Theresa C. Richardson

somebody

somewhere

a long time ago

taught me this is the way a poem should go

AA BB

now one two three

rhythm and rhyme

all by the end of the line

but now

when a word won’t fit

sometimes i use it anyway

its all about creativity

and me

Last year I wrote a poem about Memorial Day; this year I put my words into actions. 

I gathered with my nephew’s Boy Scout Troop and others from the Nashville area to put flags on the 35,000 graves at the Nashville National Cemetery. 

Medal of Honor Winner

I was very impressed with the Boy Scout’s opening ceremony and great organization for the service project.

It was very emotional and personal for me because my paternal grandparents are buried there, as well as my uncle.

I was able to put the flag on my uncle’s grave and I wish I had brought something to clean it up with. 

By the time I got to my grandparent’s grave the flag was already there.  I took it out and re-adjusted it just to satisfy some internal need I can’t explain. 

I hope you didn’t forget today.

Summer vacation is here! Thursday was the last day of school for my children.  It was a half-day.  There were no tears or sadness from any of my children.  They felt nothing but relief! It was a busy week that we all were relived to be through with.  Field day at one school and two class picnics at the other.  A Volunteer Luncheon at one and awards days at both (at the same time no less)! There were also a few end of year PTA things to wrap up.

We also purchased a “new” (used) vehicle this week.  We had to have something as Hubby’s 1982 truck had become unreliable leaving him stranded several times in his most busy time of the year.  I had to get the kids out of bed at 11pm on Monday night to rescue him. The truck had to eventually be towed home by a kind friend of ours.

Although school is officially out, I do have one last school story to write.  It was during one of these many events this past week that Bubba’s P.E. teacher got me aside.  She was concerned over his confusion on a survey he had completed for P.E.  He had taken an unusually long time to complete the top information portion of the form and she checked on him to try to discover the problem.

The question was to check your race – White, Black, Hispanic, or Other.  Bubba didn’t know which one to check. She told me she thought it was good that kids did not focus on skin color like they used to, but she didn’t know why it was so hard for Bubba because he was obviously white.  I am happy with my children’s seemingly oblivion to skin color as an important factor.  Because after all, to quote Frederick Douglas,  “The mind does not take its complexion from the skin.”

I talked to Bubba when he got home to try to ascertain what the confusion might be.  He said, “Daddy has always told me I am a melting pot, so I didn’t know if I should check ‘White’ or ‘Other’”.  It is true.  We are a melting pot.  My family and Hubby’s family have both done extensive genealogy research.  We are mutts, err… I mean melting pots.  I love that I know my heritage and my Hubby knows his.  We are proud, like so many Americans of the countries we came from and the Americans we are.  I have a recording of my Great Grandmother telling the story of how she came over from the “old county” on a boat and I love to listen to it.

I, at times, fed up with the categories have checked “Other” and written in whatever nationality best suites my personality that day.  Sometimes fighting Irish or barbaric Hun (both my Grandmothers would be proud).   I told Bubba, that he too could check and write whatever part of his heritage he wanted to embrace that day or just leave it blank.  It just frustrates me sometimes to work so hard to break down walls and categories only to have them built back up again.  To have someone divide the the kids and remind them that they might be different from an educational perspective because of their skin color seems to serve no purpose.

I do somewhat grasp that these categories can be important in making sure that different groups of the populace are being educated equally and these catories can help to make sure we are not being discriminatory, but honestly it requires a lot of circular reasoning on my part to arrive at this conclusion. And I have to wonder if it does more harm than good in a 3rd grader’s mind. What seeds does it plant?

 At the crack of dawn Wednesday morning, I met other half-sleep Moms, Dads, teachers and children for a field trip.  We had chartered four buses from Gaylord Opryland in order to drive to Pigeon Forge, Tn.  The destination – Wonderworks – the upside down building!

The field trip was for 5th through 8th graders who are involved in our local county wide gifted program.  There are 5 students from Sissy’s school in the program and she was the only one from her school who had their parent’s permission to go.  I went as a chaperon, but it was weird for us both not knowing any of the students or parents from the other schools.  Soon we both made friends and ended up having a great time. 

The bed of nails was my second favorite part (the art work was my favorite part). Look close at the shadow below.

This exhibit below, gave you a chance to see how long you could hold your hand in waters the same temperature of the water the night the Titanic sank.  It made me realize as never before just how cold the water was. And I just can’t imagine all the other factors…

The other girls in my group all went to the same school and had known each other for several years.  They were very sweet girls.

Sissy got a chance to play Mindball.  She lost.  That is her in the far chair.  The picture of the other girl turned out better.

We also ate at the Hoot n’ Holler Dinner Theater before heading back home.  The children were so well behaved and polite – I was absolutely amazed.  I am so thankful to God that I have the time and the resources to go along with my children on school functions like this.

My dryer has been broken for sometime now.  I’m not sure how long anymore, but it has been months.  I have always loved hanging my clothes on the line outside even when my dryer was working so at first it was really no big deal for me.  We made a half hearted attempt to find one in March, but decided we would wait for a good deal.  I told my Hubby I was content with hanging the clothes on the line and the weather was getting just warm enough and just sunny enough this time of year. So I have been hanging ALL my laundry out to dry, not just an occasional load here and there.

It has been so pleasant and the clothes have smelled so good.  I noticed that our electric bill went down some, so when I did get tired of going in and out and in and out; I just reminded myself how much money I was saving.  I actually enjoyed the slower pace and enjoyed the time spent outside hanging the clothes on the line and taking them down. One day I laid in the hammock and watched a load dry. The sun was hot and the wind was blowing and they were dry in 30 minutes (actually quicker than the dryer that day).

But lately, I must admit, it has been miserable.  It has rained here so much that I can’t seem to get any clothes done much less the laundry all caught up. I think it has rained for two weeks straight.  One day Hubby hung a line under the carport for me, but the outside air was so damp that it took one load all day to dry.  I have hung clothes up inside to dry as well, but the same thing – pretty much all day to dry.  I have been getting up earlier than usual to get a load of laundry started in order to make the most of the sunlight.

The short spurts of sunshine we have had seem to fall on days that I am not at home.  I have been pulling my hair out running home between commitments and errands to hang a load of laundry! Some days I made it home too late, only to have the load rained on.  That’s just an extra rinse cycle right???  I told my Mom I don’t know how women made it before the invention of the dryer.  They had to stay home during the day because you sure can’t hang clothes at night.  In fact, just last week a teacher from the boy’s school called me.  She asked me if I was outside enjoying the pretty day.  I said I was.  I was enjoying it by hanging my laundry on the line.  She laughed and said she didn’t know anyone did that anymore.

Anyway, about the time I was ready to throw in the towel on ever having clean clothes again, we got a dryer!  My Hubby’s cousin came through with a great deal for us.  He works at a well known nationwide store and is constantly getting good deals on discontinued or seasonal items.  I have been doing laundry for two days straight trying to get all caught up. A Hubby with two jobs and 3 kids with school uniforms go through a lot of clothes.

For the past two days, I have been lovingly folding each item of clothes.  Touching them and caressing them.  I forgot clothes could be so soft.  I forgot you could wash and dry clothes at night. My last load is in the dryer right now and then I will be caught up. Tonight when I lay my head down on my SOFT pillowcase, I will push away the nagging thoughts of other things I take for granted and sleep peacefully.

My brother is passing through town.  He is currently stationed in Washington State and I have not seen him in several years.  Mom fixed a wonderful dinner tonight and we had a great visit.  I am proud of his service to our country in both the USMC and the Army.

My Baby Sister, Me and My Big Brother

   Back Porch Light

By: Theresa Richardson

Sometimes when I can't

sleep

I grab my blankets in a

heap

and move to the couch.

I flip the back switch

and use the porch

light

to write.

It shines in the

door

while all the house

snores.

In its soft

glow

I let the pen

flow

and my eyes start to close -

slow.

The cool breeze blows

in

and gives wings to my

pen

and soon I will be sleeping.

When my head is

clear

I settle in without

fear

for it is written in

ink

and I'm free to catch a

wink.

Empty House

By: Theresa C. Richardson

Will you smile at the treasures

or frown at the junk?

Will you be moved to tears

going through my trunk?

Will you sit in my chair

and have a last thought?

Will you look through my checks

to see what I bought?

You'll take down the pictures

that made me smile.

You'll gather my dishes

into a pile.

Drink a cup of my memory

and have a good cry.

Do what you need

in order to get by.

Put it to use or

sale what you must.

But don't let my things,

sit around and collect dust.

When you pack my books up

do it with care

for I have lots

of good memories there.

Dishes in my sink

and clothes in the dryer;

a half written poem...

My journal makes me a liar.

Walk to my window

and stand there for me.

Put yourself in my shoes

to see how I see.

Open my mail

and read all my letters.

Maybe, just maybe

you'll get to know me better.

Educating Bubba has been a struggle.  He and school don’t seem to mix well.  I always did very well in school and I have honestly struggled with how to help Bubba do better.  Sissy excels and is in the gifted program and Paddy seems to be doing well; but I have shed many tears over Bubba’s progress in school.

I guess really the struggle started before he ever entered school.  Sissy was the type of baby that met all the “milestones” early while Bubba always took his sweet time.  He was always happy and never gave us any trouble and he did always eventually meet the milestones so we weren’t really worried.   But then we noticed his speech and language skills did not seem to be progressing as well as Sissy’s had. In fact, verbally he was lacking in vocabulary and understandability.  Sissy could understand him a bit better than adults could and sometimes “interpreted” for us.  In a way this added to the problem because he learned to rely on her. 

We expressed our concerns to his pediatrician on several visits who would check his hearing (which was fine) and advise us to wait a bit longer suggesting his vocal skills would improve.  Somewhere between 3 and 4 years she did refer us for testing at the Vanderbilt Bill Wilkerson Speech and Language center. He did not have any problem understanding us or following directions.  His comprehension was fine, but he was diagnosed with a severe phonological disorder.  Insurance would not pay the $110 they wanted for a session of speech therapy so we searched around and found a cheaper speech therapy available at Easter Seals.  The drive was a long and traffic congested, but we started seeing improvements with the therapy.

By the time he started Kindergarten we could understand at least 75% of what he was saying, but his teacher said she could only understand about 50% of what he was saying.  This barrier caused problems in the classroom.  Not with his behavior, he has always been well behaved, but reading skills and phonics suffered terribly.

After his kindergarten year in private school, we transferred both him and Sissy to public school.  There were many reasons and one of the perks was the FREE speech therapy offered several times a week at his school.  However, the change from private to public was hard on him and once again his teacher had problems understanding him.  They new curriculum approached reading in a totally different way than either of us was accustomed.  As a result, his already struggling reading suffered even more.

We had a meeting towards the end of the year with the principal, his teacher, guidance counselor and speech therapist.  I think I cried all the way through the meeting.  It was tough, but we decided to hold Bubba back and give him a second go round at first grade. It was agreed that having a better grasp of the basic skills would benefit him in the long run. It is a decision I have second guessed many times since then.  His self esteem suffered greatly and he felt like a failure.  He missed his friends and for the second year in a row he had to make new ones.  He was ashamed every time someone asked what grade he was in and hung his head.  He is big and tall for his age so this made things awkward for him as well.

Despite the hold back, he still struggled with his second time through first grade.  He has been involved in a reading recovery program, tutoring and all sorts of tests; but still he has continued to struggle. Every year I sit and cry through meetings with the school staff.  Everyone is amazed at how bright, happy, and well behaved Bubba is, but no one seems to know why it won’t transfer to paper.  It was determined that a high amount of anxiety interferes with Bubba’s ability to perform well. 

He is unsure of himself and has low self confidence which they say causes him to get too tense and he seems to freeze up during tests.  His fear of failure is overwhelming. We have discovered when given ample time and no pressure he does much better in the classroom.   I have done everything I can think of to help Bubba.  I have stressed and worried myself to death. Will my boy be able to survive in this world? Am I doing everything I can to make sure he has the skills he needs?

Earlier this year Bubba finished his speech therapy.  You can no longer tell he ever had anything wrong with his speech! This has done wonders for his self confidence and he is no longer missing any class time to attend speech therapy.  I have still stressed over his reading skills.  It seems to haunt him in every subject; reading directions, reading word problems, reading science or social studies texts.

A few weeks ago, while doing my Bible study worksheet , I realized through a series of questions and scripture reading that I was holding on to Bubba.  I had not given him over to God.  Oh sure, I had said many a prayer for him.  I have prayed many years for his speech and schoolwork, but I still stressed and worried.  I worried what people thought. It was a source of bruised pride for me.  I tried everything I knew to try.  But it hit me that day that I needed to let go. 

I gave Bubba to God.  I came to the realization that he is not mine.  God will equip him with the skills he needs to serve God.  That is all that matters.  God will form him and mold him and make him into the man he needs to be.  I needed to move over and let God work.  I needed to let go of my expectations that Bubba be some kind of little scholar and trust that God would educate him as needed.  Please don’t misunderstand me – I will not be negligent in my duties as a Mother.  I will make sure he gets his homework done, read to him, have him read to me and have the extra flashcard practice, but it will not consume my life any longer.  I am casting this burden on God.

Later this same week, as we were getting ready to walk out the door for school, Bubba tossed a card on my lap.  It was a two paragraph tongue twister.  He said he needed to learn it for the school assembly that day.  What? Was God testing me or was this just His sense a humor?  Why would they give Bubba a tongue twister to recite? Of all things? We practiced the tongue twister during the short drive to school.  He had already been going over it, but had just neglected to tell me.  He did well, but he didn’t quite have it all memorized.  As he was getting out of the car, he said he was going to try to get someone else to do the second paragraph.

That afternoon three different teachers and one student approached me to let me know how well Bubba had done in the assembly.  He said it all perfectly, by memory and with emotion!  My boy! I know it was just a simple tongue twister, but God gave us victory! My son who had been in speech therapy and who could not be understood now impressed the school with his recitation of a tongue twister.

A few weeks later, I was once again stunned at a school awards ceremony when Bubba was one of the few to receive a certificate for scoring in the advanced categories in both Reading and Math on a computer practice program for the upcoming standardized state tests.  My mouth fell open and the other 3rd grade teacher (who had been his original 1st grade teacher) commented on my state of shock and the look of amazement that crossed my face when his name was called.  I had been sitting there praying silently for “proficient” in both categories and never expected “advanced”. 

Even after these recent accomplishments Bubba’s self esteem still suffers.  He brushes off compliments and asks me how he did so good? And was it really that good?  He doubts himself, but after what happened last night… I think we took a huge step in boosting his self confidence.

Bubba was honored along with many elementary students in a ceremony put on by the Middle Tennessee Reading Association at a larger school about 20 minutes away (By the way, this is where Oprah Winfrey went to high school).  It seems his teacher entered one of his stories in a writing contest and Bubba received a medal for his creative writing on the district level!

But even more amazing…these stories that won recognition on the district level were submitted to the State competition and Bubba won a bronze medal on the State level!!! 

We went out to eat after the ceremony to celebrate and I wanted Bubba to wear his medals into the restaurant to show off.  All the kids looked at me in amazement and said, “Mom! But Bubba’s story was about NOT bragging!” But honestly, I think he needs it.

On the way to pick Sissy up from her school, Bubba had me bursting with laughter as he told me about his day.  He informed me that in music class they had finally started using their recorders. (You know the little plastic clarinet like instrument things with holes in them you cover with your fingers).  Anyway, he declared to me loudly that they were awful.

Me: Awful?

Bubba: Yes, we sounded terrible.

Me: Well…it was just your first day.

Bubba: She yelled for us to stop (waving his hands frantically in imitation of his teacher).

Me: Well…y’all need to listen to her instructions.

Bubba: She had to take two mental breaks.

Me: (laughing) Mental breaks????

Bubba: We sounded like dying cows.

Me: (laughing)

Bubba:  I think part of it was me.

Me: You?

Bubba: I couldn’t play an ‘A’ minus.

Me: An ‘A’ minus?

Bubba: Yeah, or the note ‘B’ plus.

Me: (laughing hard)

Bubba: It sounded like nails on a chalkboard.

Me: (still laughing, but trying to think of something encouraging to say).

Bubba: Today, we should have just named our recorders.

Me: Named your recorders?

Bubba: Yes! (pointing from pretend person to pretend person) You’re Nails on Chalkboard. You’re Dying Cow and you’re Screeching Owl.

So if you had a rough day, just be thankful your not Bubba’s third grade music teacher.  I’m sure she will require some kind of medication for her head tonight.  But me? Well…laughter doeth good like medicine.

You know it must have been a boring, rainy day when watching the clothes wash kept the children entertained for almost the complete cycle.  I’m serious! Who would have thought??!!  I threw in some tennis shoes and a stuffed animal, the dog we are watching had been playing with, and left the lid open.  I “fooled” the machine by sticking a toothbrush in front of the sensor/lever and POOF  - the excitement began!

There were exclaims of “Wow!” and “This is an awesome machine!” followed by questions of, “What’s it doing now?”  I suppose it was a good lesson on how a washer works and how people washed clothes in the past, but I was a bit stunned when I realized we were all huddled around the washer for so long.  I did have to give a safety lecture on the possibility of mangled arms and not sticking them in the washer while it was going.

They made a game of watching the shoes and the stuffed animal fight for the top position in the suds.  Paddy was the most excited because his shoes were lighting up and they hadn’t done that in a LONG time!

(Maybe because I washed them in the washer?)

I am not sure how it started or even why, but when Paddy was around 3 to 4 he would say to me, “I like you and love you.”  At first I would laugh and of course, “eat it up” as any Mom would, I’m sure.  I tried to explain the difference to him, but I think that understanding only made him more determine to let me know he really did like and love me.  I started saying these words back to him. After awhile I think it finally dawned on me how nice it was to actually be liked by someone who loved me.  I think sometimes, as sad as it is maybe, we don’t always like our loved ones. Now that Paddy is 7 years old, I rarely hear “I like you and love you” anymore, but yesterday I was reminded of this phrase he said to me in years past. 

Yesterday, Paddy jumped in the truck after school very excited.  He pulled something out of his backpack and held it up for me to see.  It was a package of sponge dinosaurs in plastic capsules, the kind that dissolve in water and grow.  I knew he loved this kind of thing and had come very close to buying a package to put in his Easter basket, but for some reason didn’t.  Anyway, I was excited for him and wanted to know what he did to earn such a great prize. He explained that a girl in his class gave them to him.  Of course, I wanted to know all the details of why and what did she say.

It was just a simple, kind gesture from a very sweet girl and he has had other girls give him stuff before, but he blushed and said,

“I think she likes me.” 

“Why do you think that?”, I asked

“Well, while we were standing in line her best friend told me she did!” He said excitedly.

Paddy is charming with big blue eyes and a sweet smile.  He is nice to the girls in his class and it is no surprise that it had been rumored that several different girls like him.  Last year one girl even tried to kiss him, but missed his lips and ended up crying. (Bless her heart, she is a very sweet girl too.) But this girl is different.  Paddy was beaming with excitement declaring he liked her too.  I asked if he only liked her because she liked him and he insisted no.  I’m not sure how to handle this or what to do and say, if anything.  Even though Paddy is the youngest, this is a new situation for me.  Sissy and Bubba both still insist the opposite sex is gross. 

Paddy came home and immediately put his dinosaurs in water to watch them grow.  He carefully took them out and dried them.  They were his prize possession for the rest of the day.  He proudly told his sister and brother how this girl liked him.  He was beaming with excitement. His smile was spectacular.  Seeing his happiness over this simple word, “like”, made me want to call my husband.  Sometimes looking at my sons I see the man in them or maybe it is the little boy in my husband I see.  But I just wanted to call my husband.  I wanted to call him just to tell him I liked him. 

Regrettably, I got busy with my typical Monday night Bible study across town and never made the phone call.  This morning I told my Hubby the story of Paddy’s day and how it made me want to call him to just to tell him I liked him.  He pouted and said, “but you didn’t.”  I felt bad that I let myself get “too busy” to take the moment to call him. When he pouted I saw the little boy in him.  The little boy that just wants the girl he likes to like him too.

I took the time today.  I called him just to say, “I like you.” He laughed and said he liked me too!

I was really struck by Psalm 118 yesterday. Since it was Palm Sunday I re-read the passage in Luke that my Pastor had used in the service Sunday morning. I followed the cross reference from the words “Blessed is he who comes in the name of the LORD” to Psalms 118. I read the whole Psalm in it's entirety with my mouth open. I had never realized how fitting the whole Psalm is to Jesus' triumphant entry into Jerusalem and the arrest, trial, crucifixion and resurrection that soon followed.

My Bible commentary says this Psalm is a prophecy of Jesus' 2^nd coming and entrance into the temple in heaven. That may be so because many prophecies have duel meanings. My study Bible says that it is a praise Psalm used to bring a sacrifice into the temple with at least three different singers or voices taking part – the priests, the people and the king. It suggests that maybe it was sung responsively.

I would dare say Psalms 118 is just as prophetic to this situation in Jerusalem as Psalms 22 is to the crucifixion. Thus, why it is pointed to by this crowd who if had kept silent...well, the rocks would have pointed us in this same direction. I'm still not sure exactly, but below are some of my thoughts about this Psalm that stuck me as I was reading it. My thoughts are in bold and I comment before the verses I am thinking about.

Psalm 118(NIV)

These first four verses cover Israel, the priests (who were responsible for the carrying out of the sacrifices) and the gentiles. I know the common people of Israel, the religious leaders, and the Gentile Romans all played important roles in the days leading up to and during the arrest, trail and crucifixion of Jesus. But it is because of this very death they helped carry out that we all can experience the grace found in God's enduring love.

1 Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;
his love endures forever.

2 Let Israel say:
"His love endures forever."

3 Let the house of Aaron say:
"His love endures forever."

4 Let those who fear the LORD say:
"His love endures forever."

Surely these verses convey the thoughts and feelings of Jesus as he entered Jerusalem,soon to be the sacrifice for all people. The anguish he felt. He did indeed crush death and triumph over Satan in his crucifixion and resurrection.“Oh death where is thy sting?” The most freeing thing is to be surrendered to God's will.

5 In my anguish I cried to the LORD,
and he answered by setting me free.

6 The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid.
What can man do to me?

7 The LORD is with me; he is my helper.
I will look in triumph on my enemies.

Judas is about to betray him. He can't trust in man. Peter will deny him and his disciples will scatter in fear. Kings and leaders of the people (princes) are about to sentence an innocent man to death.

8 It is better to take refuge in the LORD
than to trust in man.

9 It is better to take refuge in the LORD
than to trust in princes.

The Jews demand his death and the Romans consent and carry it out. His place of death is close to a busy crossroad and they wrote “King of the Jews” in three different languages.

10 All the nations surrounded me,
but in the name of the LORD I cut them off.

11 They surrounded me on every side,
but in the name of the LORD I cut them off.

I can just picture the swarm and throng of the crowd. Pushing and shoving. I'm sure the burning pain of the crown of thorns being pushed into his head faded quickly in comparison to all the other horrible pain he was experiencing both emotional and physically.

12 They swarmed around me like bees,
but they died out as quickly as burning thorns;
in the name of the LORD I cut them off.

13 I was pushed back and about to fall,
but the LORD helped me.

God was indeed his strength as he became our salvation. Oh the joy and victory!  The reference to tents reminds me that because of this perfect sacrifice my present state is only temporary.

14 The LORD is my strength and my song;
he has become my salvation.

15 Shouts of joy and victory
resound in the tents of the righteous:
"The LORD's right hand has done mighty things!

He gave himself willingly without a fight or argument. He was mighty in the humblest of ways. He was lifted high – literally and figuratively.

16 The LORD's right hand is lifted high;
the LORD's right hand has done mighty things!"

He was resurrected and appeared to his disciples and over 400 others proclaiming life.

7 I will not die but live,
and will proclaim what the LORD has done.

Jesus took our punishment, our chastisement, our sin on Him and he rose from the dead so that we might have life. He is alive!

18 The LORD has chastened me severely,
but he has not given me over to death.

Jesus was received into heaven and sits at the right hand of God.

19 Open for me the gates of righteousness;

I will enter and give thanks to the LORD.

Jesus is the way. He is the gate through which we will obtain entrance into heaven. I am only righteous because I am covered by his blood. Jesus is my only hope. He is my salvation.

20 This is the gate of the LORD
through which the righteous may enter.

21 I will give you thanks, for you answered me;
you have become my salvation.

Jesus was rejected of men, but became the rock of my salvation. What could be more marvelous! I will declare it so the stones don't have to.

22 The stone the builders rejected
has become the capstone;

23 the LORD has done this,
and it is marvelous in our eyes.

Resurrection day is the most wonderful day of the year. Let us gather in God's house and celebrate. Let us bless the name of Jesus more triumphantly than they did on Palm Sunday.

24 This is the day the LORD has made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it.

25 O LORD, save us;
O LORD, grant us success.

26 Blessed is he who comes in the name of the LORD.
From the house of the LORD we bless you.

Jesus is God the Son, the Christ, the Messiah, the prophecies fulfilled! He is the Light of the World. He was the final sacrifice on the alter and on Palm Sunday they ushered Him in with boughs in hand.

27 The LORD is God,
and he has made his light shine upon us.
With boughs in hand, join in the festal procession
up to the horns of the altar.

28 You are my God, and I will give you thanks;
you are my God, and I will exalt you.

29 Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;
his love endures forever.

This is indeed a praise song of a sacrifice being brought to the alter.  The triumphant entry of the final sacrifice... the perfect sacrifice....forever!

Today is one of those days I wished for a telephoto lens and/or better picture taking skills. There were over twenty wild turkeys on a hill near my house.  It was a beautiful sight!

But Spring is here and our garden is coming on so I can’t possibly pout too long about better, closer turkey pictures, can I?

Radishes, leaf lettuce and white onions are poking through and after the rain we’ve had all day they should really start growing now.

I got this list of questions from my cousin’s wife’s blog and thought I would borrow them to interview my children.  I asked each child to sit with me separately and privately so each child’s answer would be original.  We had a blast laughing and giggling.  Beware, some answers are brutally honest. Enjoy!

Sissy – age 11

1. What is something mom always says to you? “Go get your shoes and socks on.”  and  “When you’re done eating you have to do some chores.”

2. What makes mom happy? Peace and quiet

3. What makes mom sad?  When someone dies, of course

4. How does your mom make you laugh? By saying something that does not make sense, like, “go get in bread.”

5. What did your mom like to do when she was a child? Read

6. How old is your mom? 33

7. How tall is your mom? 6 feet

8. What is her favorite thing to do? I don’t know… spend time with her family… I’m just guessing.

9. What does your mom do when you’re not around? Watches TV shows that I can’t watch and sleeps in (with a finger pointing at me)

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for? Probably for writing a book

11. What is your mom really good at?  Math

12. What is your mom not very good at?  Science

13. What does your mom do for her job? She loves her children

14. What is your mom’s favorite food? Fried chicken and eggs – I know that for sure!

15. What makes you proud of your mom? She loves God so much and that she trusts God.

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be? D. W. (from Arthur)because she gets words mixed up and because sometimes she has no clue what she is talking about. Because sometimes you are just ‘out there’ when you didn’t eat breakfast.

17. What do you and your mom do together? I don’t know…Talk about the day and laugh.

18. How are you and your mom the same? We both like read, we both have brown hair and our last name is both Richardson.

19. How are you and your mom different?  She is an adult and taller than me. There are lots of ways, but I can’t think of something to put in words.

20. How do you know your mom loves you?  Because she takes care of me and teaches me about God.

21. What does your mom like most about your dad? That he is a Christian.

22. Where is your mom’s favorite place to go?  The bathroom… (lots of laughter) no… don’t put that.  Shopping ,but it is boring.  Really the shower.

Bubba – Age 9

1. What is something mom always says to you? Something about not listening…  You say, ’I love you’, when you drop me off at school.

2. What makes mom happy? When I clean my room without you asking.

3. What makes mom sad?  I don’t like this one… I want you to always be happy.

4. How does your mom make you laugh? By making jokes and stuff.

5. What did your mom like to do when she was a child? Drink milk

6. How old is your mom? I don’t know…let me guess…2 days old (Ha Ha) um…. 32

7. How tall is your mom? 6 feet something or maybe 7 feet

8. What is her favorite thing to do? Read and play on the computer

9. What does your mom do when you’re not around?  Yucky stuff with my Dad

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?  Her great cooking

11. What is your mom really good at?  Settling arguments and reading stories

12. What is your mom not very good at?  Admitting she was wrong

13. What does your mom do for her job? stay at home Mom

14. What is your mom’s favorite food? I think I know… um… avocado

15. What makes you proud of your mom? Her great reputation at school

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be? Tom… you know like Tom and Jerry… Tom the cat

17. What do you and your mom do together?  Play Chess

18. How are you and your mom the same? We both have hazel eyes and that’s all, I think… she has big feet and I sadly have big feet too.

19. How are you and your mom different?  Um… she is older than me and knows a lot more and she’s a girl.

20. How do you know your mom loves you?  She kisses me and hugs me.

21. What does your mom like most about your dad? He has a cute butt (Bubba turned red at this point and rolled on the floor laughing)

22. Where is your mom’s favorite place to go?  Steak and Shake

Paddy – Age 7

1. What is something mom always says to you? Blow your nose

2. What makes mom happy? Flowers

3. What makes mom sad?  I don’t know…you're always happy…um…I don’t know.

4. How does your mom make you laugh? Trying to make funny jokes up

5. What did your mom like to do when she was a child? Ride your bike

6. How old is your mom? 32

7. How tall is your mom? 6 foot

8. What is her favorite thing to do? Clean? … Do you like to clean? … Cook!

9. What does your mom do when you’re not around? Clean

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?  Cleaning? Celebrity show…. what is that??

11. What is your mom really good at?  Being nice

12. What is your mom not very good at?  Telling jokes

13. What does your mom do for her job? Being a stay at home mom

14. What is your mom’s favorite food? Avocado and pizza

15. What makes you proud of your mom? Lots of things… how she cares for us.

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be? Francine (From Arthur)

17. What do you and your mom do together?  Talk, Talk, Talk

18. How are you and your mom the same? Hair - our wonderful hair!

19. How are you and your mom different? She’s a girl and I am a boy

20. How do you know your mom loves you?  How she cares for us – that’s how I know lady.

21. What does your mom like most about your dad? He’s beautiful! (said with a batting eye lashes and a cute sing song voice)

22. Where is your mom’s favorite place to go?  Burger King

Both boys recently brought home a paper from school that said since they both had at least one ‘A’ on their last report card they were entitled to two Nashville Predators tickets each. The Nashville Predators are our local professional hockey team.  We were all very excited about the tickets which the school said they would be sending home soon. 

Since Sissy has moved on from their elementary school to middle school, she was the only one left without a ticket.  We figured that we would be sitting in the general admission section, way up high, and we could just buy Sissy a ticket so the whole family could enjoy the night together.  However, one of the teachers let me know the next day that she would send home a ticket for Sissy too. Wasn’t that sweet?

Imagine my surprise when the boys brought home five $70.00 tickets! Our seats were eleven rows from the ice!

We had a great family night out together and of course ran into several other people from school who were all scattered around in equally good seats.

Paddy got sleepy and bored toward the end and is a bit young to really keep up with the game, but Sissy and Bubba enjoyed it.  The Preds lost, but that didn’t damper our spirits a bit!

Beacon

By: Theresa Richardson

Twinkling lights

up on the hill

I see you

when I stand still.

Empty blackness

surrounds

yet you gleam

on higher ground.

I know

you are there

shining

in the night air.

The darkness

is broken

by your small

beaming token.

Through the trees

you peek

it is your comfort

I seek.

To know

you are home

I don't feel so

alone.

I have never been to an AA meeting and I don’t know all of 12 steps, but sometimes I feel like a recovering addict trying to break free from my addiction.  I can’t always put my finger on it, but it is probably best summed up in The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse by David Johnson and Jeff VanVonderen.  I have not read that book in 10 years and can’t remember a thing it says now, but it was a turning point in my life at the time to even realize there was a thing as Spiritual Abuse. 

I was raised in a very conservative and legalistic church.  I went to the Christian school associated with the church so even though my family wasn’t  as conservative as the church and school it was still my life at least 6 days a week, I still had to live it – pretend it.  I hate to think about it and it is hard to explain especially to someone that has not lived it.  If you didn’t grow up in a legalistic church where what you wore was more important than who you were or the wrath of God overshadowed the love of God then you probably won’t comprehend where I am coming from.

My sister in law and I have long conversations about these places – the churches, the schools, the colleges, the camps, the lifestyle. How it trickled into our families and how to stop the cycle. She can relate. Every now and then I run into someone else who can relate.  Not someone that is still living under the heavy yoke of legalism, but someone like me who is trying to break free or who has broken free.  I feel that during these conversations we tell our stories as if we were in some kind of recovering addicts meeting.  It is if we came through the battle and lived to tell.  We endured all the wrath and condemnation, but pulled through to bear witness to a real, genuine, loving relationship with Christ.

At one point in my life I had to step back and re-evaluate everything I had learned about Christianity, because if it was truly what I had grown up seeing at church then I wanted no part of it.  I can remember in 10th grade my pastor/Bible class teacher telling the class that hopefully one day we all would grow up and mature and we would learn that the closer we got to God the less freedom we would have.  That none of us could possibly be close to God because we still thought it was alright to do certain things. (e.g. women wearing pants).  I wanted to be close to God, but he was making it sound like a mature Christian would be locked in chains.  Praise God that I eventually found the freedom there is in Christ. 

Matthew 11:29-30 (N I V)

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

I do still struggle.  I find myself being judgmental towards myself and other people over things that don’t matter.   I find myself feeling guilty ,worthless, and wallowing in my past sins.  I have to remind myself constantly that I am forgiven and loved and there is nothing that I can do to make myself worthy.  I can not earn grace. I heard this song by Tenth Avenue North a few weeks back and cried.  I ran and I searched, but His hands were holding me the whole time and now I know His real, true, never ending love for me.

I still cry when I hear it, but as the tears flow, I smile and feel refreshed.

Song: By Your Side

Artist: Tenth Avenue North

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go

“Hi my name is Theresa and I am a recovering legalist.”

I was just telling my Hubby the other day how much I enjoyed watching the kids on the trampoline we bought them for Christmas.  It was not even spring weather yet and I already felt like we got our money's worth.

Well... we had some strong winds here last night...